But every now and then there comes a long a string of words commonly used and accepted in today‘s society that makes you wonder what the grunt those troglodytes were thinking.

“Don’t know him from a bar of soap.”

Origin: (Australia/New Zealand.) Unknown. Some speculate the origins hark back to the bible and it being a variant on, “I don’t know you from Adam.” This theory falls flat however because as we all know Australians and New Zealanders are all Godless heathens that don’t read.

Really means: You literally cannot tell the difference between a human being and a hygiene product.

Verdict: Corrective eye surgery may be required.

See Also: “Don’t know him from Adam”/”Don’t know her from a hole in the wall.”

Drop it.

“Off to see a man about a dog.”

Origin: (Ireland.) The first recorded use of the saying was in 1866 in Dion Boucicault’s play, Flying Scud. Which is funny in its own right. Its meaning often used to excuse ones absence or departure and to conceal ones true agenda.

Really means:  You are going to see a man. About or around, a dog.  

Verdict: You like dogs. A lot.

See also:  “Off to see a man/woman about a horse/budgee/rabbit/etc.” Every animal except cats. No one likes cats.

Where you off to?

“Flat out like a lizard drinking.”

Origin: (Australia.) The Aussies are at it again with this pearler. Its meaning often used to convey extreme action or activity. For example, “I couldn’t pick up my towel because I was flat out like a lizard drinking.”

Really means: Have you ever really seen a lizard drink? Please watch the video below.

Verdict: See how slow that was? If you stand by this saying and all it denotes then either you, yourself are in fact a lizard or a council worker.

See also: “Flat out like a lizard on a rock” or “flat-stick.”

“To beat around the bush.”

Origin:  (Great Britain) It is commonly accepted that to, “beat around the bush”, one does, how do we put this, in not so many words, shall we say, not get to the point, rather, directly. Often considered a hunting reference where hunters would lazily beat around the bush (hee hee) seeking to flush out their intended prey rather than dive headlong into the wild, thick, brush.

Really means:  That would be telling.

Verdict: Get your head out of the gutter. 

See also: Cut to the chase. Cut to the Hecuba.

What handkerchief?

“Don’t piss in my pocket and tell me that it’s raining.”

Origin: (Yep, you guessed it. Australia.) To ‘piss in ones pocket’ is to employ flattery. It is quite startling to suggest that someone would attempt to curry favour by partaking in the soaking of ones trousers and then seek to lie about it. But then there was R-Kelly.

Really means: Someone has urinated in your pocket. Upon questioning they have told you it is in fact rain. You have called bullshit.

See also: “Blow smoke up your arse” and  “You can’t bullshit a bull-shitter.”

Pisssssssssssssssssssssss

So there you have it, clear as mud, useful as tits on a bull and better than a poke in the eye with a blunt stick. If you have any you’d like to add, comment below and we can clear it up for you. We’d love to hear from you.

Mitch out.

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You’re having a tough week… is it only Tuesday? We like to give you reasons to be distracted from your grueling working week.

Hot Dog Legs is just the distraction you need!

This tumblr posts pictures that could be (mis)construed as either hot dog frankfurters or legs… it’s your call!

The post New Internet Fad: Hot Dog Or Legs? appeared first on andrise.com.

As this video clearly demonstrates, Australia’s politicians are amongst the coolest in the world. Or the most cringe-inducing.

This music film clip from Canberra-based band Super Best Friends, released today, manages to pull in the ‘talents’ of the senior (and junior) politicians of all of the major parties in Australia. Not coincidentally, those same pollies are currently competing for the people’s affections as Australia awaits a Federal election in a matter of weeks.

Well done to Super Best Friends in playing upon the strongest emotions of our politicians in their most vulnerable hour, to get them to do the darndest things to look cool. The song is called ‘Round and Round’ and the clip features the likes of Australian Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd and Opposition Leader, Tony Abbott.

The post Australia’s politicians are cooler than yours! appeared first on andrise.com.

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John Oliver praises the Aussies for the sheer speed of the election (a four week process) and notes that even with speed, Australia is much like the United States in the way that there are just as many tools running for office.

We could keep rambling on about the clip, but heck. Let’s just roll the film…

The post John Oliver to America: Be More like Australia appeared first on andrise.com.

Ciao

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The highlight of the video is clearly their father Archie’s cameo as a Neil Diamondesque throne sitter.

So whether you care about watching ‘football on your phone’ or not. Check the video out. it’s great for a chuckle.

The post The Manning Brothers rap video: Football on Your Phone appeared first on andrise.com.

So sit back, get yourself comfortable and enjoy the video. Give us your thoughts in the comments section below.

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Some clown… errr,  scratch that. We are supposed to keep the Virginia Tech mascot’s identity a secret. Some secret person actually wrote to Sub Pop Records, Nirvana’s former Record Label, asking if Nirvana were willing to record a video wishing a happy homecoming to the Hokies.

For reasons undefined, the unnamed assailant doesn’t seem to realise that Nirvana haven’t existed since Kurt Cobain’s death in 1994, but on a hope and a prayer, and with the knowledge that “Virginia Tech loves Nirvana”  and that it “presents great publicity” for Nirvana, the mascot didn’t let that deter him from his brazen request to read the following message:

“What’s up, Virginia Tech? This is Nirvana! Just wanted to wish you guys a Happy Homecoming Week and good luck at the game this Saturday. LETS [sic] GO HOKIES!”

But it doesn’t stop there, they later go on to speak praises for the “great quality” of videos captures on iPhones.

Those crazy critters at Sub Pop rose to the occasion though. They filmed the video the mascot was hoping for. Instead of snaring Nirvana, Sub Pop used Mark Arm or Mud Honey fame  Sub Pop filmed the clip and sent it to the student with a “Good luck with Homecoming” message. The student  didn’t seem to notice that is wasn’t Nirvana, going as far as replying to Sub Pop to let them know that they “are the best”  and that they are “awesome”.

Here is the video Sub Pop made.

Here are the texts exchanged by Sup Pop and the student.

(via HuffPost)

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