somputer CULTURE

Scientists create sexist joke telling computer


So much for saving the world, curing cancer or even making devices, ‘scientists’ at the University of Edinburgh have built a computer that writes sexist jokes.

Now before you get all excited and start counting your pennies to see if you can afford one (cue Simpsons quotes “I’ll pay $50 for one”) you need to know a couple of things.

Firstly, like some good comedy this computer relies on a formula which is fine, but this one chugs along on the “I like my X like I like my Y…Z” formula with variables for the X, Y, & Z parameters. Seems pretty basic I know and something a computer savy kid could churn out in a few minutes.

Secondly, No doubt the computer is Scottish therefore no one can understand it.

Thirdly, the computer just isn’t that funny. Check these piles of steaming turds the computer spat out

Some of the less PC jokes generated by the PC

  • I like my women like I like my gas … natural
  • I like my men like I like my acorns … buried
  • I like my boys like I like my sectors … bad
  • I like my men like I like my monoxide – odourless
  • I like my men like I like my court … superior

And some that are even more lame

  • I like my coffee like I like my war … cold
  • I like my relationships like I like my source … open
  • I like my fish like I like my text … raw
  • I like my business like I like my fish … small

David Matthews, the one who was part of the team that created this, not the one from the Dave Matthews Band said that “when they tested the jokes on volunteers they found they laughed”. Yeah, Dave. Probably at the thought of a team of scientists wasting their time on this, but then again, he isn’t going to proclaim that the man hours put in to this were wasted.

Now maybe Dave is the comedian here, trolling the world and maybe even getting grant money to fund it. Maybe they are just a sad bunch scientists who actually think the computer is funny. Either way, Dr Matthews will be off to present this computer to the Association for Computational Linguistics annual meeting in Bulgaria. No doubt Microsoft Sam, the default Tom Tom GPS voice, KITT and The Matrix are on the panel.

I like my sexist joke telling computers like I like my comedy…….. funny. This one is not.

Relax, so-called comedians. You aren’t out of a job… yet.