Left handed Salute
There has been a select group of people persecuted since the dawn of time for an abnormality that transcends age, race, religion, creed or sex.
They are the ones who smudge their words as they write upon a board. They are the ones who recklessly flip guitars upside down! They are the ones who struggle with even the most simplest of can openers.
They are, of course, Lefties.
August 13. Left-Hander Day. A day we tip our hats and offer a left-handed salute to Mollydookers.
No one knows where they came from or why they are here. All we know is they make up about 10% of the world’s population and are weird to look at.
If you look around you can see their influence. From the Louvre to legislation and we at AndRise are proud to honor the ole Southpaw with a top 10 of the most prolific Lefties influencing the World today, in all their backwards glory.
Yojne. (That’s Lefty for, ‘enjoy’. What, that’s not how it works?! On with the list!)
- James Cameron (Brought you the biggest movie in the world. Twice.)
- Bill Gates (You’re on his PC)
- Angelina Jolie (Acts, adopts, mastectomy. Philanthropist and beacon for breast cancer awareness. Who knew after seeing Gigi.)
- LeBron James (2 championship rings – count em)
- Oprah Winfrey (Almost bought a shop in Zurich out of spite for not letting her see a 40k handbag.)
- Arya Stark (Last time we saw Arya she was getting stab happy with some Frey men. Are you going to tell her she can’t be on the list? Valar Morghulis, indeed.)
- Barack Obama (Something to do with the White House)
- Trey Parker (When he isn’t creating South Park he is doing whatever the hell he wants, whether that be Broadway musicals, puppet movies, or teaching English to the Japanese
- Ned Flanders (Hens love roosters, geese love ganders, everyone else loves Ned Flanders)
- Ben ‘Haggard’ Indrisie & Mitch Page (You’re on their website, reading their article)
So let’s recap – we have a the Leader of the Free World, a reigning NBA MVP Champ AND Barrack Obama, (Oprah zing!) which tells me two things – if you’re lucky enough to be African American AND a Mollydooka, expect big things, secondly it shows that every day can be Left-Handers Day. Awwwww
So, if you see a left-hander, don’t snicker as they fumble awkwardly with the can opener, don’t look at them and cringe when they are using a knife, don’t call them the devil, because at the end of the day, they’re just a backwards you.
Or some type of wizard.
Mitch Page. Lefty and proud.