If you only see one movie featuring a flame throwing, electric guitar playing, chromed out, War Boy strapped to a big-rig this year make it this one. (You see, it’s funny because it’s so outlandish!)

From the deliciously demented mind of George Miller who brought you such psychedelic classics as the one about the talking pig (Babe) and the other one about dancing penguins (Happy Feet) comes his seemingly, in comparison, most down to Earth movie yet in Mad Max: Fury Road!

In a post apocalyptic world introduced to us in 1979’s Mad Max where people eek out some semblance of a half-life by surviving on mutated lizards and sucking down on mothers milk procured from morbidly obese women who are farmed out like battery hens. (Got milk? No thanks.) We find ourselves in one of the last remaining bastions of inhumanity where a degenerate tyrant rules with mangled fist and his legion of chroming War Boys who practice a perverted Norse mythology and sing praise for Valhalla while paying homage to the God that is V8! From the moment those deliciously retro 80’s titles stamp on the screen you know you’re in for something special.

The star of this show, hand(s) down is Brendan McCarthy – who? That’s right - Brendan McCarthy! Designer and co-writer along with Miller & Nico Lathouris who helped bring this mad boy to life. Whatever Miller was on in the 80’s he’s either never stopped taking it or located his stash and most certainly passed it to the left as we’re rolled out an ensemble of utterly disgustingly unique, warped, twisted, grotesque and assuredly memorable creations you’ll meet this side of the Wasteland, the likes of which we haven’t seen since the first season of The Real Housewives of Melbourne! Snap! (Stick around for the credits to enjoy their unique brandings. Rictus Erectus take a bow.)

Baa-ram-ewe!

Captured in all its HD glory by prolific cinematographer John Seale who’s covered everything from BMX Bandits to Gorillas in the Mist to bloody Harry Potter! The 72 year old (69-70 during filming) pulled a Murtaugh and came out of retirement to show the young whippersnappers exactly how it’s done. Wind swept sand dunes, mesmerising spirals churning from the tyres of speeding motorbikes shot in gorgeous technicolour in striking contrast to the stark backdrop of the Namib Desert and parts of Australia. Throw in the sounds of Junkie XL, the special effects team at Iloura (http://iloura.com.au/showreels/montage) and Stunt-Master Guy Norris (Chuck who?! – only joking, so, so sorry Chuck) and you have a film that is basically Nitro Circus featuring Tom Hardy and Charlize Theron. And speaking of stunts – my Lord! Real stunts with real vehicles. With Blockbusters these days so often dominated by CGI laden set pieces; it’s like fake abs or calves or breasts – I mean, sure, they look great and everything but there really is no substitute!

Tom Hardy replaces Mad Mel (you’ll always be Mad and a little bit racist to us) as the Road Warrior who struggles to find his voice in the film. It’s a point of contention that Max Rockatansky should be Australian or at least sound Australian. The Brit born Hardy’s accent comes and goes which is a stroke of genius by the actor since at the End Of Days when all the World’s peoples huddle together, society becomes a melting pot of cultures and dialects and – ok, you’re not buying it? What can I say, I’m a fan! *Note to future filmmakers – putting Tom Hardy in a mask or maul is like casting Jessica Alba as the Invisible Woman – WHY WOULD YA?! Thankfully the maul doesn’t stay on for long and the good news is that as soon a Hardy dons that jacket and wields that sawn off, that’s it – he’s Max. And what he lacks in vocabulary he makes up with every driving gesture and guttural grunt that are worth their weight in mother’s milk. Okay, gross.

Charlize Theron is only getting better and proves she can kick your ass with one arm behind her back by having only one arm. Hugh Keays-Byrne repulses as Immortan Joe who, FUN FACT! played the main villain, Toecutter, in the very first Mad Max - take that, cinephiles!  X-Men’s Beast, Nicholas Hoult has a lovely time of it as War Boy Nux whose character has the most telling arc. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley as Splendid is one to keep an eye on. Three if you can spare them. Riley Keough is Elvis Presley’s granddaughter, which is pretty cool, right? Zoe Kravitz is Lenny Kravitz’s daughter which is not as cool but at least she brings some fight to her character. Model, Abbey Lee frustrates as the Dag and West Australian Courtney Eaton is encouraging with her limited experience being only 16 at the time of principal photography.

The plot is linear which is fine and sometimes feels like Fury Cul-de-Sac and deserves a better third act. Some of the lines elicit unintentional laughter and cringe worthy moments but was always going to be the case with dialogue like, “he’s a schlem who likes biting slanga” – a mouthful in anyone’s language. The script lacks humour – I mean, it’s the post-apocalypse, I get it, but it doesn’t have to be all doom and babies heads. For example, did you hear that Mel Gibson is in talks to direct the sequel to Fury Road? Yeah, it’s going to be called – Post-Apocalypto! There is no level that joke doesn’t work on. My point is the script just needed something to lighten the mood to give us some relief from the constant oppression. But then again, maybe that’s the point. Whoa. I just blew my own mind.

Post-Apocalypto!

The post Movie Review: Mad Max – Fury Road appeared first on andrise.com.

Time had not been kind to the Little Rascals.

Who in the heck is the Suicide Squad and why should you care? These are both pertinent and valid questions.

‘Suicide Squad’ aka ‘Task Force X’ aka ‘You Naughty Little Rascals’* (*may not be a real thing) is DC’s (think Batman, Superman, Flash) answer to the Justice League or Marvel’s Avengers or Old People’s, The Expendables.

A veritable rogues gallery of less-than-willing super villains offered a chance at reducing (or escaping) their confines by taking part in government sanctioned, black ops missions whose odds of success are, as the squad’s name suggests, less than amazing.

Written & directed by David Ayer (Training Day, Fury) 2016’s Suicide Squad will be the 3^rd of 11 DC Comics’ Shared Universe Films and will act as the precursor to DC’s Justice League; Part 1 scheduled for release in November, 2017.

So who are these aforementioned scoundrels and who’s going to be playing them? We take a look (from left)

• Character: Slipknot
• Abilities: Can secure a trailer safely with his rope and knot tying skills. Oh. And kill you and junk.
• Actor:  Adam Beach
• You might know him from: The go to Native American Actor for, like, everything. Clint Eastwoods Flags of Our fathers or Windtalkers with Nicolas Cage.
• What to expect: Beach will bring a deep, spiritual, softly spoken performance as the villain with a penchant for restraints. We’re thinking Christian Grey; 50 Shades of Dead.
• Fun Fact: The nu-metal band from Iowa, Slipknot also has 9 members and also contains a clown. Coincidence? Yes, of course. Don’t be ridiculous.

• Character: Captain Boomerang
• Abilities: Can play ‘catch’ with himself.
• Actor: Jai Courtney
• You might know him as: Yippee Ki Yay, Motherfucker Jr in A Good Day to Die Hard opposite Bruce Willis or Kyle Reese in the upcoming, Terminator Genisys.
• 
  What to expect: If those mutton chops are anything to go by we’re looking at an ostentatious performance full of off colour “down under” jokes. We hope. Austin Powers meets Wolf Creek’s, Mick. Yeah, baby, huhhuhunhun!
• Fun Fact: Courtney trained at the same acting school as yours truly. Unlike Captain Boomerang, they didn’t want me to come back. (enter sad face here)

• Character: Katana
• Abilities: Like Tom Crusie in The Last Samurai. But actually Japanese. And a woman.
• Actor: Karen Fukuhara
• You might know her from: The picture above.
• What to expect: Samurai sensibility culture clash with the squad’s own methods & behaviour. We’ve seen the strong, silent, samurai type done so many times. Something new would be refreshing.
• Fun Fact: Armed with Soultaker, a sword that captures the souls of her victims and allows her to talk with them. That’s fun, right?

Character: Enchantress
Abilities: Muggle-born Witch, best friend to Harry & Ron. Wait, that’s not right. Magic.
Actor: Cara Delevingne
You might know her from: The fashion catwalks of London or Ole’ Pari’ or the upcoming film adaptation of young adult novel, Paper Towns.
What to expect: With a tomboyish quality and piercing eyes expect some resistance and distrust toward the swamp thing as the character’s Jekyl and Hyde persona of June Moone / Enchantress vie for control.
Fun Fact: Those are her real eyebrows.

Character: Rick Flag
Abilities: Having a kick ass name.
Actor: Joel Kinnaman
You might know him from: TV’s The Killing & the 2014 RoboCop reboot.
What to expect: The reluctant leader of the squad who already looks like he doesn’t want to be there. Kinda like everyone in RoboCop reboot. Zing! Hard man with a conscience yadayadayada Has his work cut out for him if he’s to keep this rag-tag bunch in line.
Fun Fact: Kinnaman was shortlisted to play Mad Max but lost out to Tom Hardy who was originally cast as Rick Flag but dropped out and was replaced by Kinnaman. Whaaaaat?!

Character: Harley Quinn
Abilities: Betty Boop with a baseball bat.  
Actor: Margot Robbie
You might know her from: The Wolf of Wall Street, Focus, Neighbours (TV).
What to expect: Big things from this girl as the Jokers love interest. After Wolf of Wall Street and the solid Focus Margot is on the verge of stardom and is going to swing for the fences (cuz she has a baseball bat) and make some bold choices in her effort to join Hollywood’s elite.
Fun Fact: A Harlequin is the name of a mischievous character that originated in the commedia dell’arte – you know what, never mind, she looked great in The Wolf of Wall Street.

Character: Deadshot
Abilities: He’s a deadeye dick with the guns.
Actor: Will “Big Willie Style” Smith
You might know him from: MIB, Bad Boys, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
What to expect: Smith’s star has fallen somewhat with his recent endeavours missing the mark. Not known for playing second fiddle, Smith will be at the (dead)centre of this film no doubt banging heads with the squad’s leader, Kinnaman’s Rick Flag. We hope we get more, Mike Lowrey (Bad Boys) and less Cypher Raige (After Earth).
Fun Fact: Worked with Harley Quinn’s Margot Robbie in the 2015 thriller, Focus.  Oddly, though, not a prequel.

Character: Killer Croc
Abilities: Looks great in/as boots. Is basically a big crocodile.
Actor: Adewale Akinnyoye-Agbaje
You might know him from: Mr Eko from Lost or Kurse from Thor: The Dark World
What to expect: Broody, intense, unpredictable and a little snappy. (geddit) The fact that he’s wearing a hoodie suggests he’s none too happy about his appearance / condition and may be the brunt of the squads jokes a la Beast / The Thing / Mark Zuckerberg.
Fun Fact: No stranger to the comic book genre, Adewale played Kurse in Marvel’s Thor and was circling to play the Black Panther which will now be played by Chadwick Boseman due for release in 2018

Character: El Diablo / Chato Santana
Abilities: Originally fashioned as Zorro with a dash of demonic possession. Ole’  Now, sadly, a heavily tattooed, Latino gang member with a proclivity for pyromancy.
Actor: Jay Hernandez
You might know him from: Hostel / Crazy/Beautiful
What to expect: Hot-blooded rebel and a bit of a bully. I don’t know why. I think it’s the jacket.
Fun Fact: El Diablo is ‘The Devil’ in Spanish. El Taco is Mexican – and means ‘delicious.’

So there you have it, a brief look at Task Force X. Granted there are some notable absentees in Viola Davis’s (TV’s How To Get Away With Murder) Amanda Waller (= Nick Fury) and Jared Leto’s (Dallas Buyers Club, 30 Seconds to Mars) Joker but we all know he doesn’t play well with others.

It’s very intriguing how/if this movie is going to work. It will be a breath of fresh air having the perspective of the bad guys but what happens when that novelty wears off? The real trick is going to be putting a bunch of assholes together for 90 minutes and making us give a damn. Having said that, Ayer did it with Training Day and he did it with Fury. Can he do it again with the Suicide Squad? Slated for release August, 5^th 2016 – we’ll see.

The post Feature: Who in the heck is the Suicide Squad? appeared first on andrise.com.

You barely have time to put on your 3D glasses before you’re whizzed back into a warzone that has the same on-screen intensity as the crescendo of the New York battle against the Chitauri in the first Avengers and you know you’re in for one hell of a ride!

Written & Directed by Joss “Grr. Argh.” Whedon: The Ultimate Avenger. Most infamous for co-writing Toy Story and creating low budget serials like Buffy, Angel, Firefly before graduating to small, indie hits like Serenity & Avengers – okay, we get it – you’re talented. This is Whedon at his most Whedonest. Whedonisms – the cinematic landscape is littered with. When Iron Man squeals in delight upon finding a hidden room or quietly, respectfully requests the Hulk to, “go to sleep”. Quips fire straight and true as if shot by Hawkeye, himself! However, not all of them land.

Joss Whedon: The Ultimate Avenger

Robert Downey Jr continues his scenery-chewing romp as Tony Stark as Iron Man as Robert Downey Jr. Chris Evans is settling in comfortably as the First Avenger, growing bolder and more righteous as he builds towards the ominously named, 2016 Cap movie; Civil War. Hemsworth looks great and paints Thor with a perfect balance of omnipotence and grandiose humour. Mark Ruffalo is a standout as Bruce Banner/ Hulk and is so compelling to watch. His performance as Banner is so restrained yet expressive that his Brandoesque, mumbling, whispers sound like shouting and only add to the ever-looming threat that he can “Code Green” at any moment. His performance is tragic, hopeful, vulnerable and all-powerful, all at the same time and his dynamic with the Black Widow is one of the film’s highlights.

Don Cheadle lights up the screen as James Rhodes / War Machine. By the very fact that he even cracks a mention is a testament to his talent. Having only four or five lines, one of them being a retelling of another! Give him his own movie already!

Enter “enhanced” twins, newbies – Elizabeth Olsen and Aaron Taylor-Johnson. Olsen, the younger sister of another set of famous twins – Marie-Kate & Ashley, yes, those twins, and a respected actor in her own right starring in the critically acclaimed indie, Martha Marcy May Marlene. Olsen plays the Scarlet Witch whose abilities include telekinesis and hypnosis that literally bring the Avenger’s nightmares to life. Taylor-Johnson, no stranger to kicking ass from Kick-Ass fame joins as her brother, the speedster, Quicksilver. If you’re fans of the comics then you already know the relationship these guys have to Magneto and the mutants. Quicksilver already appeared on our screens in 2014 in Bryan Singer’s X-Men: Days of Future Past played by Evan Peters and I have to say that if they transposed that Quicksilver into this film, who is arguably more Whedonesque than Whedon’s own, then it would have made for a better fit. Odd casting with performances that just miss the mark and accents that seem to come and go. You can’t help but feel they wasted an opportunity with these two. It’s just a shame that X-Men: DOFP got there first, but all’s fair in love and civil war.

And what’s Avengers: Age of Ultron without its villain? Well, it’d just be Avengers: Age of – which is just ridiculous! James Spader brings all of his Boston Legal-Blacklist snarkiness to the titular character as the very, forward thinking, lovechild of the Science Bros; Stark and Banner, who in an attempt to stop all the fighting inadvertently create the very thing they fear. With an entrance reminiscent of Ledger’s Joker (easy DC v MCU fan-boys) and eerily brought to life by motion capture, Spader’s performance is both unnerving and utterly engaging which is never more true than in his movements of listening. It’s Ultron’s childlike-naivety, all knowingness and flippant attitude toward genocide that makes him so terrifying and a worthy foe for the Avengers. But to be fair, he was born yesterday.

You want action, there’s plenty of it. Every time Iron Man flies it’s exhilarating and the battle between him and the Hulk is a smash. (Gotta give me one) If they keep this up there’s not going to be much of the MCU left to film!

Mo-Cap, SFX, Enhanced & genocidal robots aside, the test of a good story is its ability to stay grounded. Which is where the true stars of the film shine. They don’t have superhuman strength, or super speed or a magic hammer. They’re not geniuses, playboys, billionaires or philanthropists. They are the blue-collar workers of the Avengers, Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow and Jeremy Renner’s Hawkeye.

Scarlett brings some much needed light and shade to her character, which is absolutely imperative being the only woman in the original line up. In 20 years we may look back and compare what Scarlett is doing today in the same light as Nichelle Nichols did for women as Star Trek’s Uhura all those years ago albeit without the racial undertones. Even though the divide is much less prevalent today, there is still the very real and prominent issue of equal rights and pay for females across the board. Yes, concessions can be made that this type of film is marketed to teenage boys and young male adults who buy the comics and merchandise but there are a growing number of very vocal female fans that are crying out to be represented in films such as these and girl, do they deserve it! As the Wonder Woman (I realise – DC, apologies) movie struggles to get off the ground, losing and gaining another director, Scar Jo’s Black Widow has never been more important. Whedon, ever the frontrunner for strong female leads from Sarah Michelle Gellar’s Buffy to Angel’s David Boreanaz. It’s progressive writing such as his and layered performances from Johansson that’s starting to make it less about the spandex and more about what’s underneath. I mean, um, er, what’s on the inside. You know what I mean!

Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow: The Hero we deserve.

Jeremy Renner’s Clint Barton / Hawkeye is of the same ilk. He is the everyman. Sure, people want to be Tony Stark or Thor or Cap but people can relate to Clint. He has the family life and the never-ending list of projects to do around his home and he goes out there and gives it his all and backs up the bigger guys because it is his job. When the story literally flies off into the air he is what keeps it grounded because he remains both relatable and accessible, and together with Johansson, forms the real heart and soul of Age of Ultron.

The post Movie Review: Avengers – Age of Ultron appeared first on andrise.com.

The first and last moments you see Paul Walker on screen are both warm and poignant and the most recent release of the much beloved Fast & Furious franchise is a fitting tribute to the late actor’s legacy.

Furious 7, Furious Seven, Fast & Furious 7, whatever colour you paint it, is a film that seeks to outdo itself at every turn and delivers in souped-up spades.

In capable hands with writer Chris Morgan (Tokyo Drift, 2009’s Fast & Furious, Fast Five & Furious 6), and directed by Australian, James Wan (Saw, Insidious, The Conjuring) the Horror director who at first seems an odd choice until you realise the commercial success he’s had with his own billion dollar franchises.

This time around we see the big bad brother of the hospitalised F6 villain, Deckard Shaw (Statham) out for revenge against our merry band of street racing, anti-heroes. Diesel is back producing and staring as the gruff alpha, Domenic Toretto and say what you like about the testosterone filled tank top, he may be one note but geez it’s a good one. Walker, always watchable, returns as Brian O’Conner who is struggling to adjust to family life and yearns once again for the thrill of the chase. Rodriguez & Brewster are back, Brewster literally relegated to babysitting duty and in an attempt to flesh out the male dominated cast and perhaps inject some fresh blood into the series, Nathalie Emmanuel enters as hacker Megan Ramsey who you can see a lot more of in TV’s Game of Thrones. Chris ‘Ludacris’ Bridges takes a front seat in this one but is given more of an expository role in an effort to explain the plot’s high-concept technobabble and Tyrese Gibson is at his motor-mouth best as Roman Pearce. Kurt Russel adds a bit of class as the spec ops suit while Jason Statham is menacing and terminator like in his persistence as the inexorable, Deckard Shaw.

Dwayne “I used to wrestle” Johnson gets by on his affable charm and seems to have the mantle of one liners in his sites with lines like, “Woman, I am the cavalry.” In lesser hands it could come across as patronising and chauvinistic. Shakespeare, tis not.  Djimon “Where is the diamond?” Hounsou and Ong Bak’s Tony Jaa round out the rogues gallery but are rather one dimensional characters (is there another kind) the latter donning an evil moustache to become Walker’s nemesis in an East meets West duel that allows for some interesting and thrilling fights.

Doth Mother know you weareth her chain-gun?

The plot is somewhat convoluted and redundant but when has that ever stopped the Fast & Furious? There are some daytime television moments of melodrama that clunk by but that has never been what the Fast & Furious does well. What it does do well is give us cars, fist fights, gyrating bodies, shootouts, exotic locations and over-the-top action sequences. We travel across the globe at breakneck speeds to an adrenaline inducing soundtrack featuring Iggy Azalea (keep an eye out for the cameo) & Wiz Khalifa (so hot right now). There are cars jumping out of planes, cars jumping down the sides of mountains, cars jumping out of buildings and cars jumping out at helicopters. Who says cars can’t fly? Bullets, bodies, cars fly every-which-way as each new set piece seeks to out do the last and as I guiltily watched while my logical brain called bullshit I couldn’t help but wonder and get excited as to where the series would take me next. I for one will be looking forward to the next film in the franchise, Fast and Furious Infinite: Furious In Space, where you live your life a quarter light-year at a time.

Hey, we can dream.

Stunts, gyrating booties and hopefully pondering aside, in terms of being a well-made movie, it can sometimes suffer from the 2Fast, 2Much syndrome but Wan covers the action well enough to not jolt you from the experience. That being said, it’s quite a marvel that considering the obstacles they had to overcome to complete the final reel, both emotionally and technologically, it’s quite an achievement.

Whether this is the end of such a beloved, fan franchise or a set up for the next instalment, it is a pitch perfect way that allows the fans to say farewell to the blue-eyed boy with the 900 horsepower smile whose down to earth charisma and charm was what helped us all fall in love with franchise in the first place.

Dear heavenly spirit, thank you for providing us with the direct-port nitrous injection, four-core intercoolers, ball-bearing turbos and titanium valve springs…and thanks for Paul Walker.

2.5 tuna sandwiches on white, no crust. (Add another if you’re a fan)

The post Movie Review: Fast & Furious 7 appeared first on andrise.com.

But every now and then there comes a long a string of words commonly used and accepted in today‘s society that makes you wonder what the grunt those troglodytes were thinking.

“Don’t know him from a bar of soap.”

Origin: (Australia/New Zealand.) Unknown. Some speculate the origins hark back to the bible and it being a variant on, “I don’t know you from Adam.” This theory falls flat however because as we all know Australians and New Zealanders are all Godless heathens that don’t read.

Really means: You literally cannot tell the difference between a human being and a hygiene product.

Verdict: Corrective eye surgery may be required.

See Also: “Don’t know him from Adam”/”Don’t know her from a hole in the wall.”

Drop it.

“Off to see a man about a dog.”

Origin: (Ireland.) The first recorded use of the saying was in 1866 in Dion Boucicault’s play, Flying Scud. Which is funny in its own right. Its meaning often used to excuse ones absence or departure and to conceal ones true agenda.

Really means:  You are going to see a man. About or around, a dog.  

Verdict: You like dogs. A lot.

See also:  “Off to see a man/woman about a horse/budgee/rabbit/etc.” Every animal except cats. No one likes cats.

Where you off to?

“Flat out like a lizard drinking.”

Origin: (Australia.) The Aussies are at it again with this pearler. Its meaning often used to convey extreme action or activity. For example, “I couldn’t pick up my towel because I was flat out like a lizard drinking.”

Really means: Have you ever really seen a lizard drink? Please watch the video below.

Verdict: See how slow that was? If you stand by this saying and all it denotes then either you, yourself are in fact a lizard or a council worker.

See also: “Flat out like a lizard on a rock” or “flat-stick.”

“To beat around the bush.”

Origin:  (Great Britain) It is commonly accepted that to, “beat around the bush”, one does, how do we put this, in not so many words, shall we say, not get to the point, rather, directly. Often considered a hunting reference where hunters would lazily beat around the bush (hee hee) seeking to flush out their intended prey rather than dive headlong into the wild, thick, brush.

Really means:  That would be telling.

Verdict: Get your head out of the gutter. 

See also: Cut to the chase. Cut to the Hecuba.

What handkerchief?

“Don’t piss in my pocket and tell me that it’s raining.”

Origin: (Yep, you guessed it. Australia.) To ‘piss in ones pocket’ is to employ flattery. It is quite startling to suggest that someone would attempt to curry favour by partaking in the soaking of ones trousers and then seek to lie about it. But then there was R-Kelly.

Really means: Someone has urinated in your pocket. Upon questioning they have told you it is in fact rain. You have called bullshit.

See also: “Blow smoke up your arse” and  “You can’t bullshit a bull-shitter.”

Pisssssssssssssssssssssss

So there you have it, clear as mud, useful as tits on a bull and better than a poke in the eye with a blunt stick. If you have any you’d like to add, comment below and we can clear it up for you. We’d love to hear from you.

Mitch out.

The post Sayings That Make Absolutely No Sense appeared first on andrise.com.

Here are five of the best adrenaline  fuelled, fist pumping soundtracks to rock your freakin’ socks off.

Need for Speed Underground. (PC, PS2, XBOX 2003)

Barroom doom doom dum da dum da dadoom. If you were in the suburbs in 2003 and heard a white guy singing this it was a safe bet they had just finished a session of NFSU.

Whether you were getting low with Lil Jon or asking for no quarter with Fuel this game’s soundtrack was the ‘nit. There’s nothing quite like tearing down the home straight to Rob Zombie’s Two Lane Blacktop as you launch over the checkered line in first place. Pwoar! Someone give me a smoke.

Now I could be wrong about this but I’m 99% sure that Skeet is some kind of winter sport.

GTA San Andreas (PC, PS2, XBOX 2004)

Who didn’t love cruising around San Andreas tuning in K-DST and hearing DJ Tommy Smith aka Axl Rose drive you home; and Radio X’s Sage sounded sexy too.

You stole, you murdered, you Grand Theft Auto’d to the sounds of wailing guitars and big hair metal.

Never has running over old ladies and punching hookers sounded so good. And the game ain’t bad either. Aaayeoooh!

Dave Mirra Freestyle BMX (PS, PC 2000)

Now I can’t Freestyle BMX , but if I could, it would sound like this.

Sublime’s, ‘What I Got’ sums up a generation. A time when you could grind and superman your way to freestyle heaven and the only thing you’d scrape were the tips of your thumbs. Bliss.

Apocalypse (PS 1998)

1998 was the year of the Bruce Willis/Ben Affleck gangbuster, Armageddon. It was also the year of similarly themed/named, Neversoft / Bruce Willis Playstation game Apocalypse.

Imagine my surprise when I arrived home from the video store to find that I would not be wooing Liv Tyler and saving the Earth but instead blasting my way through the Four Horseman…and saving the Earth.

Playstation’s Apocalypse was good for two reasons. Bruce Willis and the music. The game features live-action music videos from System of a Down and Poe that appear on gigantic futuristic billboards. Some years later SOAD went on to become the hottest band in the world. Was this because of 1998′s Apocalypse? Probably not. But it still rocked. Yipeekayay motherf#cker. Okay, now I’m really confused.

Rock N Roll Racing. (SNES 1993)

Olaf, slams into first!

I have to say this was one of my first loves. A lot of my childhood was spent hotting up my futuristic hovercraft, firing missiles and dodging mines to the sound of Black Sabbath, George Thorogood and Steppenwolf. I had no idea who they were at the time but gee they sounded great.

The guys behind RNRR, Silicon & Synapse went on to form a little know production house called Blizzard. Never heard of them myself but I hear they do good things.
Honourable mentions: Fifa (Every song you hear on the radio BEFORE it’s on the radio) Mario Bros (Doop doo doop doo doo doo doo) Command & Conquer (I’m a Mechanical Man) Diablo (The guitar & whistle in Tristram get me every time. Strum. Strum. Woooooooooooooooooo)

So that raps things up. (See what I did there.) There have been some truly inspired soundtracks in gaming. These are some of my faves. What’s yours?

The post Top Gaming Soundtracks appeared first on andrise.com.

Cars. Summer lovin’. Travolta. 1978’s Grease is hard to go by. It’s got a kick arse soundtrack, a Californian backdrop and a lasting message: don’t be yourself and everyone will like you. Wait. What?

Humunahumunahumuna

High Point: A leather-bound Olivier Newton-John.

2) Les Miserables (2012)

Do you hear the people sing, singing the song of angry men? You’re damn right I can! Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. This Frenchy sing-a-long stars Wolverine AND Gladiator AND Catwoman. If you’re not man enough to watch this hand ‘em in right now.

Got wood?

High Point: When Gladiator attacks Wolverine for saving Catwoman.

3) Little Shop of Horrors (1986)

Finally, the musical about a meat eating plant from outer space we’ve all been waiting for. This obscure, little piece of Americana takes us on an exploration of…um – it’s about a talking, singing plant from outer space that eats people. Word.

Directed by Yoda and featuring a veritable who’s who of comedy including Rick Moranis, Steve Martin, James Belushi, John Candy and Bill Murray.

Bite me.

High Point: All those names I just said.

4) Anything Disney.

If you don’t like Disney forget about being a man – you’re not even human! Disney has been making grown men for weep for eons. I challenge you to watch the Lion King and not to feel something when Vader takes a dirt nap. And now, with the re-release of the Little Mermaid (easy boys – half girl / half fish may seem like a good idea) from the vault, I think it’s high time Disney gives the fans something new.

Easy boys.

High Point: Any time an animal/inanimate object sings.

5) Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. (2007)

A quaint little tale about a barber who cuts people’s throats and makes them into pies. And what food is manlier than the humble pie? Said manly pie filled with literal manly ingredients. It begs the questions; how do real men shave their beards? They don’t!

Got Beef?

High Point: Edward Scissor-Hands getting all snip-happy in your junk.

Honorable Mentions: The Blues Brothers (1980 – They’re on a mission from God) Jesus Christ Superstar (1973 – It’s got TANKS!) & Team America (2004 – Fuck Yeah)

Of course, the correct answer to the question: What musicals can a grown man watch is: ANYTHING I DAMN WELL LIKE TO STEVEN! If you care about what others think then you’re not a man at all and instead some 16 year old girl with a new haircut.**

So there you have it. If you feel there’s anything missing off the list by all means jot it down below. If you’re man enough.

Mitch out.

**Apologies to all our 16-year-old readers. Your loyalty is appreciated and your hair looks fabulous.

The post Musicals Any Man Can Watch appeared first on andrise.com.

The post Dockers seal home final. appeared first on andrise.com.

Presented by WA’s Black Swan State Theatre Company, Shrine stars John Howard, Whitney Richards and Sarah McNeill.

It should be noted that Shrine is not an adaptation of another of Winton’s work. Winton himself has said that his previously adapted works, whether for the stage or television have never fully been realized. Shrine however has been written purposefully for the stage and it shows.

Beautifully written and conceived, Shrine is a cleverly woven narrative that uses flashbacks and evocative imagery to tell its story so effectively that at times it feels as though you’re walking through a memory.

Performances are solid. John Howard delivers as the despondent father but I would have liked to see him stretch just that little bit further – his character being in the very real position to rip the heart right out of the audience.

Whitney Richards grew in confidence throughout the night as the rambunctious June Lenton. The banter between her and Howard a highlight and as they fell into a comfortable rhythm there were some genuine moments that were a thrill to observe.

The banter between Howard and Richards is a highlight.

The young supports are sound. Paul Ashcroft is sympathetic as Howard’s son. Luke McMahon is at both times despicable and pitiable as his ‘friend’, Will and Will McNeill plays an interestingly shaded character. His look and mannerisms alone reminding me of a very young Heath Ledger, for whom the theatre is named, but perhaps this was just hopeful thinking.

Sarah McNeill was a stand out for me but unfortunately not in a good way. A mother’s grief is never palatable and as such I always wanted to shy away from her wallowing Mary Mansfield. Granted, it is a tough role to take on but she pitches it so strongly that it plays like a Shakespearian matriarch. In the quieter moments, however, in the rare moments of clarity is where her character shines. There is an absolutely gut-wrenching scene as the funeral is relived where I challenge you not to feel something. It was one of the play’s finer, cathartic moments.

It is Winton’s ability to give us real, tangible, flawed beings. Ashcroft’s Jack is not the victim. His friends are not villains. It is Winton’s genius that leads us down one path, takes us down another until we realize we’re not on the path at all. The way he takes the ordinary and makes it extraordinary. The way he gives us beauty in literally the darkest of moments.

We left the theatre with no great revelation. No nice little bow to tie it all together. Much as it is in life. Just the faintest of promises of that which once which was, may be again. Or never was.

I give the night 8 washed up double pluggers.

Shrine is currently running at the Heath Ledger Theatre until the 15th of September. Tickets available at Ticketek

http://premier.ticketek.com.au/shows/show.aspx?sh=SHRINE13

The post Tim Winton’s ‘Shrine’: Review appeared first on andrise.com.

With these chilling words the world was thrown into turmoil as it was announced the Caped Crusader would finally mask off against the Man of Steel in Zack Snyder’s, MOS 2.

The twitterverse exploded in a frenzy of buzz and speculation as to who would don the cowl. Rumors ranged from the inspired (Gosling) to the intriguing (Gordon-Levitt) to the bizarre (Streep).

“Ben Affleck is Batman.”

With these chilling words the world was once again thrown into turmoil.

Now I can understand your misgivings. We’ve all seen or heard of Gigli or know someone who was affected by it. And we’re acutely aware that the best thing to come out of Ben’s first foray into the superhero genre (Daredevil) was Mrs. Affleck.

But enough of that, I’m here to quash the rumors, to say nay to the naysayers, and show you that there is some light at the end of the dark knight tunnel.

The reason is quite simple; Ben Affleck is Batman.

Let’s see how.

Batman leads a dual life. By day he is Bruce Wayne: Playboy. Billionaire. Philanthropist. At night he becomes the masked vigilante and crime fighter, Batman.

Ben Affleck leads a dual life. By day he is Ben Affleck; Actor: Playboy. Millionaire. Philanthropist. At night he works in secret as a director and becomes, Ben Affleck: Oscar Winner. Argo going on to pick up Best Picture at 2012’s Academy Awards.

Batman’s major haunt is Gotham: a crime ridden hellhole, populated by a freak show of scum and villainy who thrive by preying on the weak.

Affleck: LA.

Batman’s height 6”2. 210lbs (95kgs)

Affleck’s height 6”2-4. With Snyder (300) we’re finally going to see a Batman that can kick your ass. All due respect to Mr Bale, it was his performance that made the Bat menacing. With Affleck’s sizeable frame we’re going to see a wizened Bats take on Cavill’s younger and guileless SM. And not just take him on. Beat him.

Batman suffered a great tragedy early on, which shaped him into the much-revered hero he is today.

Gigli.

Batman has Robin.

Ben has Casey.

I could go on but I think you’re getting it and dinner’s ready.

So you see the question is not how can Affleck play Batman, but who else could? Except for Keaton. And Kilmer. And Clooney. And Bale. And West. And Lowrey. And Wilson. Yeah, except for them. And with Mr Breaking Bad himself, Bryan Cranston, set to play Supe’s nemesis, Lex Luthor, 2015 is gearing up to be one for the (comic)books.

Ah, wordplay.

Mitch out.

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na, Butt-man

The post Ben Affleck as Batman: Why he won’t suck appeared first on andrise.com.