The Sub-Plots of the NBA Playoffs

With the 82 game NBA regular season over it is time to get primed for the NBA playoffs. This is the time where we all sit in our couches and munch on fried snacks and drown ourselves in gallons of our favourite amber ale whilst we watch the one team strive for NBA supremacy

The thing is, we already know what happens in a coming of age plot. We know that there will have to be many trials and tribulations to be crossed and a lot of self-discovery before the goal is reached. What we don’t know is who the main characters are.

So, whilst we may already know the main plot of the NBA finals, let us take a look at some sub-plots for this year’s NBA Playoffs that we must keep an eye on.

Pat and Me – Patty Mills, a “Professional Article Twirler” (PAT) escapes from Australia and is befriended by a towel that has a lower thread count than the others. Together they try to find PAT’s championship ring, from whom he has never received. After a brief fight when Patty checks in to the game, the two reunite and together hydrate the Spurs players with Gatorade helping the Spurs on to victory. There is no higher pinnacle than being held above an NBA player’s head and swung around.
And don’t forget to bring a towel
Lance Stephenson vs. the World – Lance Stephenson plays for the Indiana Pacers which aspires for a ring. He hasn’t recovered from the heart break of losing last year’s Eastern Conference Finals to the team that would become the Champions. As if maintaining relationships with his team mates wasn’t enough, Lance will need to battle to the death as he encounters previous champions in order to win himself and Indiana the championship.
Lance Stephenson vs. The World
The Big Dirkowzki – When Dirk Nowitzki is mistaken for an oil tycoon, two thugs urinate on his NBA 3 Point Shootout Champion trophy to force him to pay a debt he knows nothing about. When attempting to gain compensation for the soiled trophy from his counterpart he accepts a one time job to make a ransom drop. Through his gun touting friend with anger issues, Steve Nash, the pair keeps the ransom which leads them to more trouble and soon, just about everyone from convicted felons to nihilists want something from ‘The Dirk’.
you better believe it. The Big Dirkowski
Finding Hedo – Whilst waiting for the team bus, Hedo Turkoglu ventures too far away, despite Blake Griffin’s warning about Los Angeles’s dangers. Hedo is abducted by a renegade park ranger and sent to clean windows in San Ysidro. While Blake endeavours out to find Hedo he meets Dennis Rodman, a former NBA player who suffers from short term memory loss. Both Blake and Rodman travel a great distance encountering various dangerous people in Southern California. While doing this, Hedo, who is stuck cleaning windows with other Clippers’ bench players, plot a way to return to the Staples Center so they can play basketball.
The Batuminator – A human looking cyborg (Batum) is sent from the future on a deadly mission. He has to stop James Harden, who through his beard will have a great significane in years to come. Harden has one protector, Dwight Howard, also sent from the future. The Batuminator uses his exceptional intelligence and strength to find Harden, but is there any way to stop the seemingly indestructible cyborg?
The Batuminator