NBA Douche Moves of 2013

The NBA, where amazing happens. And though a lot of “amazing” does happen. It also has its ‘douche moments’. Let’s sit back and have a look at the top NBA douche moments in calendar year 2013.

10. Dennis Shroder – Atlanta Hawks

Did you know that Dennis Shoder played in the NBA? He also punched Demarcus Cousins right in the janglies as he ‘fought his way’ through a pick. Shroeder kicks off our douche list.

9. Marco Belinelli – Chicage Bulls

There is only one NBA player with balls big enough to do the ‘big balls’ dance; and that is Sam Cassell. Anyone else who tries to do it is a douche whether it is Belinelli, Blatche or Butler… Hmmm, all beginning with the letter “B”. B for Balls.

8. Nate Robinson – Denver Nuggets

Steven Adams must feel like a punching bag some times. Dude always seems to be on the end of someone’s fists; but Nate Robinson had his douche moment when he punched the Thunder forward right in front of the referee. Dumb move, Nate. Dumb move.

7. ANY Player or coach who criticizes the referees

Any player or coach who hasn’t realized that they get fined for making comments detrimental to the referees or officiating. Sure, bad calls do happen and from time to time they do/may affect the outcome of the game. It is a long season and if you decide that making comments of this nature is still the best course of action then you are a douche.

6. Matt Barnes – Los Angeles Clippers

Barnes found himself ejected for standing up for his team mates, which in itself could be considered admirable. Instead of having a cold shower to cool down, Barnes booted up the Twitter and dropped the ‘N bomb’ saying that he loves his team mates but is getting sick of standing up for them.

5. Dwyane Wade – Miami Heat

Dwyane Wade is supposed to be a NBA Superstar yet when things don’t go his way he carries on like a little kid with a skinned knee and turns to cheap shots. Check out these two from last season’s Eastern Conference Finals. The “D” in “Dwyane” must stand for “douche”.

4. Tony Allen- Memphis Grizzlies

When Tony Allen went up for the layup he wasn’t expecting to get ripped to the ground by Cousin Balki… I mean Manu Ginobili. The foul was hard and worthy of a flagrant foul. Allen proceeds to roll around on the floor in agony clasping his head. Replays show that Allen never hit his head on the ground and the pain was all a charade.

Congrats, douche. You managed to stall the game for no apparent reason. Blake Griffin, if you don’t change your ways expect to be on this list next year.

3. Birdlady – Miami Heat

So the lady who flipped Joakim Noah as he left the arena got her fifteen minutes of fame but that doesn’t make this douchery any less worthy. Yelling insults is one thing but to get in the face of a player is something else. In fact, get creative with the insults, go absolutely nuts with them. Flipping the bird is the ‘go to’ move of the lowest common denominator. Congrats, Lady. I’m sure the video says your name, but you look like a Barbara, so I’ll call you Barbara.

Yes, Barbara was some kind of pseudo-celebrity for a fractal moment in time but where do you go from here? Look out for Barbara’s next performance in ten years’ time where she tells a documentary crew how she lost her life savings in a Ponzi scheme.

2. Chris Andersen ‘Birdman’ – Miami Heat

There is no denying the Heat v Pacers Eastern Conference Finals was intense but that didn’t stop Heat forward, Chris Andersen coming in at number two in the list.  Taking issue with something made up, Anderson blindsides Tyler Hansborough with a shove to the floor then take further issue and gives Phycho T another shove after chesting him up. Birdman still wants to go at it as the referee is pushing him towards his bench.

All this unprovoked douchery did was further embed Andersen’s white trash image. Armed with nothing but his pretty hair and ‘tough boy’ stickers Andersen has given the NBA very little.

1.       Jason Kidd – Brooklyn Nets

For reasons unknown, Brooklyn Nets coach, Jason Kidd took to instructing his player to “Hit me” as he walked past him so he could intentionally spill his cola and ice all over the court. What makes this douche move odd is that there was no real apparent reason for doing so other than maybe buying a few more time before the Nets lost to the Lakers. It allowed Kidd, who was out of timeouts to draw up on more play before Lakers players Steve Blake and Wes Johnson infiltrated the Nets huddle to oversee the play.

The douche move cost Kidd $50,000 in fines making it one expensive drink.

Tell us which douche moments we left out in the comments section below.