When RAW came to town.
After I put John Cena through a table, I’m going to have a steak, then I’m going to walk out, in to the middle of Perth and take a big, fat Goldberg!
Ryback
All right, lets address the 350 lbs, spandex-wearing elephant in the room. Wrestling’s not real. There it is. Black and white. We make no excuses and contrary to popular belief, wrestling fans are aware of this. WWE RAW, one of the world’s longest running soap operas sells rivalries, larger than life characters and over-the-top action and on Tuesday, 30th of July, 2013, Perth, WA was buying.
Perth Arena housed a solid crowd, fans young and old, came out to see their favourite WWE Superstars perform their unique brand of entertainment.
The night began with some comic relief in the form of a dynamic three-way match featuring 3MB’s front man, Heath Slater (booooo), Antonio Cesaro (we the people – that’s racist) and the eternal underdog, (woo, woo, woo,) Zack Ryder (who would go onto qualify for a shot at The Shield’s, Dean Ambrose, United States Champion belt) This match would break the ice and set an easy tone for the rest of the evening.
Next up was the Diva’s match, which I must admit, is usually the part of the program I fast-forward (don’t judge me!) however, not having FF capabilities I was forced to endure as two extremely fit women in spandex with flowing hair and…wait, where was I? The match ended when Aksana tapped out to Natalya’s Sharp Shooter. (Oh yeah, that’s exactly what it sounds like.)
After intermission we got to the business end of the draw. With an audience choice between a best of three pin-fall (yawn) or an, [enter city name here] Street Fight! (Hey, [enter city name here] – that’s where I’m from!)
This was followed by an entertaining tag-team match, which saw Team Hell No (Yes! Yes! Yes!) take on current champions, Rollins & Reigns. The match ending in a disqualification by interference from Ambrose. (Oooooh *fist shake) Honourble mention: tandem choke slam. (No. No. No, Daniel, yours was not as big as Kane’s.)
The night culminated in a table match between, please don’t feed him anymore, Ryback and current WWE champion Jooooooooohn Cena (The kid has presence). And there is nothing like seeing a grown man get AA’d through a table….wait, where was I?
The setup itself was basic. A ring that crashed gratifyingly (Oooooh) a couple of spotties and big screens and a sound system that was great when it worked. If you had seats on the floor you would struggle to see whenever someone went to ground and some pyrotechnics wouldn’t go astray.
On paper, the card was extremely strong. It was great to see so many of the WWE Superstars making the effort to come to lil’ ole Perth. The experience would only have been made better with the addition of the highflying antics of Ray Mysterio, and a brogue kick or two from Sheamus never goes unappreciated, but as the announcer said, there’s always next year, [enter city name here].
Held on a Tuesday night, I couldn’t help notice the large number of kids patronizing the venue and wondered how many absentees our schools would see the following day. Then I remembered where we were and that those kids probably didn’t receive an education. I felt better after that.
If you went there uninhibited and unashamedly willing to cheer on grown men in their underwear then you’re gonna have a good time. (What, you had something better to do Tuesday night?) World Wrestling Entertainment. It’s in the name.™
Fun for half the freakin’ family. Leave ya mum and sister at home.
I give the event 6.5 big, fat, steaming Goldbergs.
If you went there uninhibited and unashamedly willing to cheer on grown men in their underwear then you’re gonna have a good time. (What, you had something better to do Tuesday night?) World Wrestling Entertainment. It’s in the name.™ Fun for half the freakin’ family. Leave ya mum and sister at home.
